Directed by David Mackenzie (Spread, Asylum), Perfect Sense made quite the buzz at the Sundance Movie Product Trade Show.

Audiences will get their first look at the film when it arrives On Demand on Jan.6 with a theatrical limited theatrical release on Feb. 3.

Green, 31, shot to fame among film snobs with the 2003 NC-17 flick The Dreamers, but became mainstream in ’08′s James Bond reboot, Casino Royale.

McGregor is currently working on Bryan Singer’s Jack the Giant Killer – due out June 15.

“We didn’t have green screen,” says Rapace on the special effects. “I think we had it twice. They built everything. It felt like magic. It’s stunning. What’s so fantastic, with [director Ridley Scott], is that he’s such an artist and he creates really big, amazing shots, but it’s still brutally beautiful, at the same time. I can’t wait to see it!”

Prometheus is slated for a June 8 release and while producers haven’t rejected Alien prequel talk, they’ve added that the film “takes place in the Alien universe.” Don’t expect too many facehuggers but the interwebs are a blaze with rumors of an alien popping her way into the film.

“I’d love to see an alien,” says superfan Ralph Jacksonite. “A hot one. With a giant mouth and teeth that will gnash the hope of the audience. Obama sucks!”

Scott helmed the 1979 original film starring Sigourney Weaver who was way hotter back then.

Noomi Rapace is the original Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest. She can also be seen in the upcoming Guy Ritchie project Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows on December 16. She’s currently working on Swedish drama Knockout from Catherine Hardwicke (Twilight).

Source: Your mom

“Clark Kent/Kal-El is a young twentysomething journalist who feels alienated by powers beyond anyone’s imagination,” reads the plot. “Transported to Earth years ago from Krypton, an advanced alien planet, Clark struggles with the ultimate question – Why am I here?”

Superman: Man of Steel stars Henry Cavill as Clark Kent/Superman with Kevin Costner (Mr. Brooks) and Diane Lane (she had a lot of sex in Unfaithful) as his earth parents. Amy Adams (cheekbones) plays Lois Lane.

“We think it’s really important that we cover Superman’s origin,” says a super mysterious insider on the set of the project. “We found that most people have no idea who Superman is, where he came from and why he’s here. Despite Superman’s origin being covered in earlier films and it being a part of the American psyche, we feel, or excuse me, [director Zack Synder] feels we need to remind audiences where Superman came from.”

The insider goes on: “He’ll also wrestle with his sexuality. Is he attracted to Lois? Yes but is it for the wrong reasons? Is it because she’s a bitch? Are men bitches? Is Superman a bitch too? We’ll spend the entire first act with Superman sitting in a chair thinking about this. We learned — I think we all learned– from Superman Returns, that people want thoughtful story-lines, not action. And moviegoers love seeing the same story done multiple times.”

Superman: Man of Steel arrives in theaters on June 14, 2013.

Yup. I felt bad for Kim Kardashian and her sex tape. (Dear Google: I’d like to use the following related keywords on this article: booty, kim, kardashian, free, sex, tape, online, feet. (I’m not into feet. I think they’re funny looking but I keep seeing “feet” in recommended search terms in Google when I do research on female celebs. People are apparently doing a lot of searches for all things feet. You guys are perverts. I’m into ears.))

So here’s Kim Kardashian: a young 20-something with a lot of cash because her dad is/was a lawyer for OJ and because her other dad was an Olympic skier…or something. I’m not quite sure what’s going on in her oh-so fabulous life, I’m just going off previews I’ve seen on E!. (What’s with the exclamation point? E! mutherfucka! Muthafuckin’ E!!!) At any rate, she has become popular because she let her then boyfriend video tape her performing fellatio on him…amongst other things. She’s famous for the wrong reasons and I’ve had a hand in that. In fact, some might say I’m the reason Kim Kardashian is the No.3 looked up personality on Google (a guess).

I should make it up to her.

First things first, I would call her up. I happened to have her phone number handy because I’m friends with the 2006 University of Miami football team and they gave it to me. I dialed the number and I was pretty surprised that she answered her own phone especially since it was a number she probably didn’t recognize.

“Hello?” she said as if she was in an abandoned warehouse in a horror movie. “Hello? Who’s there?” I told her I was an online writer who first heard about her when her sex tape was released in 2007 and that I felt guilty about it. She listened and there was an awkward pause after I sneezed and waited for her to say “bless you.” She never did and I was a bit upset over it.

“Anyway, I wanted to see if I could take you out for a cup of coffee this week and I could get to know you,” I said. “I feel bad because I see you, by-and-large, as an inanimate object with large butt. I’d like to fix that.”

She told me “thank you” when I was done, which was weird because I didn’t really didn’t say anything that needed a thanks, but I told her she was most welcome. She said she usually doesn’t go have coffee with strangers who randomly call her but she would make an exception. I felt bad because I know how busy she is but I felt a lot better when she said her soon-to-be husband, the NBA player, would not be joining us. Tall people really scare me. Some people are scared of little people, which is completely silly, and I’m petrified of tall people, which is completely rational when you think about it.

I drove to her house later in the day and I used the intercom on the gate out front. I ring the buzzer, state who I am, and wait for Kim to show up. She finally did 45 minutes later and I drove us to Starbucks.

My car, a ’99 Honda Civic, smells a bit like those spicy hot dog/sausage things that you can pick up at any gas station. One time I tried the break the seal with my teeth and the juice inside sprayed everywhere. If Kim noticed, she didn’t say anything which was pretty classy of her.

I try to be a gentleman and order her a black venti Pike Place, which is what I drink. I assumed she’d like that too since I heard she likes it black. I was wrong. She ordered a tall Frappuccino with half-whip. I’ve never heard of half-whip. “Is that with half of the normal amount of whipped cream on the drink? Is that what ‘half whip’ means?” I ask her. She told me it wasn’t and didn’t elaborate. Awkward.

“Thanks for taking me to Starbucks,” she told me. “I never get out and when I do it’s by car service, limo, helicopter or private jet to any number of parties, fundraisers or clubs so this was nice. I’ve never been in a Lexus Civic.”

I didn’t correct her. I didn’t want her to feel bad. After all, I saw her receive cunnilingus on video.

We talked about the weather and I told her how tornadoes are formed and what Nor’easters are. She feigned interest and I could tell she was getting bored. I asked her what her favorite movie was and she thought about it for a bit. “The Final Countdown,” she said.

“Wait, what?” I asked. “The movie about the aircraft carrier that travels through time to the ’40s and has to decide if it will stop the looming Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor? For real?”

I couldn’t believe it. All this talk about Kim Kardashian having the intellectual aptitude of “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan wasn’t true at all. She loved an obscure movie from 1980 that starred Kirk Douglas and Martin Sheen. It was incredible.

“What?” she asked quizzically. “I…um…what?” She had no idea what I was talking about. Apparently she asked if her eyeshadow was making a sound, not The Final Countdown.

“Aircraft carriers are those really big ships with all the plans, right?” she asked me. She knew the answer but was trying to play along with our dieing conversation. “Yes…yes it is,” I reluctantly said.

Our talk never touched on her wedding, her reality show, her suit against Old Navy or how much her company paid NBC to have an hour-long product placement in The Apprentice. She did ask me if I knew how to hack into computers. I told her I didn’t and she was a lot more upset than I thought she would be.

I got her a petite vanilla scone to go and we headed back to her place. She said it nice to meet me, thanked me for the scone (she paid for the coffee) and that she would appreciate it if I wouldn’t call again.

I understood. It was weird for me too. She was a nice girl with great hair that smelled like a bowl of flowers mixed with a rainbows. Seriously. I think she washes her hair with unicorn blood. Now when I see her I can stop thinking of that damn sex tape and think about our coffee, the scone and her eyeshadow.

We’ll always have Starbucks…and her ears were so damn sexy.

The forthcoming Joss Whedon-directed feature by the same name is expected to arrive in theaters on May 4, 2012. Starring the original performers from each of Marvel’s superhero film properties, sans The Incredible Hulk, The Avengers stars Robert Downey Jr as Iron Man, Chris Hemsworth as Thor and Chris Evans as Captain America.

The green monster Hulk will be portrayed by Mark Ruffalo with ’70s Hulk star Lou Ferrigno providing the voice.

“We have the utmost faith in Whedon’s take on comicdom’s greatest team of superheros,” read the prepared statement. “We are sure fans around the world will flock to enjoy what will be the cinematic event of the 2012 summer season. That said, we, along with our share holders, are eager to see other views on this financially viable and lucrative franchise in the near future.”

Unofficially dubbed “The Avengers series,” films Iron Man, Iron Man 2, Thor, The Incredible Hulk and now Captain America: The First Avenger, have already earned more than $1 billion worldwide ticket sales. Merchandising including fast food tie-ins, socks, lamps, wallpaper, hair product and urinal cakes more than double this amount.

“For moviegoers young and old, The Avengers franchise will become the preeminent theatrical experience with unlimited variations, story-lines and characters to include. Will a 10-year-old Wolverine show up? Will Iron Man die? How about Spider-man? Will Daredevil and The Punisher show up? How about Lightening McQueen, the Mad Hatter, the G-Force gerbils, Secretariat or Hannah Montana?”

There is no official word on who will be helming the reboot of The Avengers but those close to the project expect Terminator Salvation and Charlie’s Angels director McG to direct.

Riders are requirements that celebrities have when they make appearances. Popular requests include only gray M&Ms, freshly squeezed water and an inside out cow skeleton.

But the 26-year-old seemed above that, after all, it wasn’t too long ago that the E.T. singer sang back-up for Miley Cyrus. But fame has a way of messin’ with a person’s mind.

Perry’s demands included that her staff not talk to her, look at her, open doors for her and a restriction on autographs. She also requires “egg chairs” and French ornate floor lamps.

While in tour in Japan this month, Perry banned carnations. Carn…ations.

We got a hold of a secondary rider for “KP” and it appears that a love for fancy lighting and arrogance is only the tip of the iceberg.

Katy Perry’s Rider:

• Mountain Dew Red Alert from Salt Lake City
• Mandatory anus bleaching complete with photographic proof
• All servants will be addressed as Jessica and must where shoes four sizes too small
• No body hair for men
• Women must wear recently shaved male body hair on their arms
• All food must be chewed on by a wolf.
• Director’s Edition of The Human Centipede running on every screen in the dressing room including all smartphones, book covers and tablet computers whether or not “KP” is in the room.
• All  female servants are to compliment KP on her clothing and tell her how beautiful she is and that she’s “way sexier than that bitch Lady Gaga and more talented.”

Katy Perry’s California Dreams Tour comes to the United States on June 7 in Atlanta.

Cheryl Cole buddy and former Girls Aloud cohort, Kimberley Walsh, says she knew Cheryl Cole was joining the upcoming American version of X-Factor before everyone else and that she would have been assassinated if she spilled the beans.

Since Klubbin’ Kim Walsh is Ms. Cheryl Cole’s BFF, please provide the Internet with dirt on how Cole feels about us, Yanks?

“She says it’s going so well, she is loving it and is chuffed with the response,” said Walsh shaving her dog. “The Americans have been really welcoming.”

“I’m pretty certain ‘chuffed’ means ‘totally grossed out,’” says reality TV fan Brandon Anglewood. “I study words and ‘chuffed’ means she was disgusted by Americans. In other variations of the word, ‘chuffed’ can also mean ‘cow parts.’”

Walsh, who is, like, totally jealous of Cole (we can tell), says that Americans love Paula Abdul, which is news to us.

“Paula is a bit of a nutter but she is warm and funny and brilliant entertainment!” Walsh said screaming. “The Yanks love her, she’s their American princess and we’ve got our British princess representing!”

Whoa. Paula Abdul is more like an awkward cousin than a princess. I guess we’re okay with her, but a “princess” is over-the-top.

“I’m pretty normal, you know? Like I said, the type of day I love is just like everybody else’s,” Spears burped to Harper’s Bazaar<. “I’m like everybody else.”

But what about the kids, Brit-Brit? Have Sean Preston III and Jumpin’ Jayden James made you want to have more kids?

“I think things through a little bit more, and I worry a lot,” said Spears hiding behind a chair. “I’m more straightforward, and I speak up more than I did before. When I was younger, I wouldn’t speak up as much, but now that I’m a mom, things have changed.”

She added: “I’ve thought about both, so if the timing was right.”

For her fans, news of Spears being like “everybody else” has rocked Spearsville.

“This is fantastic news,” says Darren M. Bryant, president of Britney Spears Panties. “It’s great to hear that Britney holds furry parties and cuts the ears of pictures of Jennifer Love Hewitt.”

“Michael brought a lot of joy to us that night,” says Rachel Teeins, a 40-year-old nurse who watched Jackson perform. “I was really sad that night. My boyfriend dumped me and I was about to end it all by grilling my face off, then Michael performed Speed Demon and I pictured him telling me, ‘No Rachel, don’t burn your face off.’ Then I didn’t.”

When asked about his death in 2009, the RN broke into tears. “It’s so messed up. Jermaine was the one that should have died. Nobody cares about him.” she said.

Jackson died at age 50 from an overdose of the powerful sedative Propofol and had a history of prescription drug abuse.

“We all use drugs,” says Greenville city council member Perry Tineth. “When I woke up this morning, the first thing I did was pour myself a cup of coffee. Coffee contains a drug. It’s called caffeine and that’s the same as Propofol. Don’t be a hypocrite.”

The statue will be commissioned later this week and council insiders reveal that the statue will be created by local artisan Ben Yurk. Yurk’s previous works include Prince Summertime, a clay work based on Britain’s Prince Harry and the controversial piece Midnight Revenge, which featured Prince Harry hacking a baby seal with a bottle of Coca-Cola.

“If one were to tell me that I would mold Michael Jackson’s genitals last year, I would salivate in disbelief,” says Yurk. “It would be an honor. I have already informed the Greenville city council that I have great interest in this project.  I will call it Michael’s Summer Vacation.”

The vote passed 14 to 1. The one destining vote was cast my Gary Illestrum, a local small business owner. When asked why he didn’t want a statue made for Greenville’s Dancing Angel, Mr. Illestrum scoffed. “If I want a statue of a pedophile on city property, I’d have one of my Uncle Terry.”

“I was defecating in there and the guy next to me didn’t move at all,” says Denton. “Seriously. Usually when you’re in there doing No.2, you hear some flatulence, toilet paper rustling or some feet movement. Maybe even a sigh or a sploosh. But this guy? Nothing. I even tried to touch his feet with mine and he didn’t even budge. Freak.”

Denton, a regular in the men’s room located by the Pepsi machine, first noticed that the body in the stall next didn’t move and after he started grunting loudly when passing a large bowel movement. An act which has been known to generate results in the past.

“Yeah, usually when I do that, the guy next to me shuffles a lot. Sometimes instead instead of grunting, I just full-on yell,” Denton said. “But when I did that, this joker didn’t do anything. He just sat there. I could see his shadow and he didn’t wince. For real, somebody should check on him.”

Denton is not the only Google associate to notice that some guy in in the restroom may be deceased. Just ask Yuri Scoftuz.

“I know the guy that Ben is talking about,” says Scoftuz. “This morning I was taking care of business and I noticed the guy next to me didn’t move. So I started pounding on the wall and shouting at him. ‘Hey, you douche ass , you’d better move in there! What’s your deal? You douche sucker– I will go in there and force you to move — damn you!’ I said to him. Nothing.

“I started making paper balls out of my soiled T.P. and tossing it over the wall to make him say something. He was so weird. He didn’t move. He didn’t say a word. Total asshole.”